A Do Over at the Parsonage.

The Laughter That Made the Difference

I had the pleasure of hearing laughter. This laughter came from
my parents in the living room of our home and it was from the
two people who had worked the hardest and made the most sacri-
fices for our family. Mom and Dad were enjoying a television
program together and their laughter filled the air. In hearing the laughter of my Mom and Dad, I was healed. I felt repaired after the brokenness of the arguements they had during
my childhood. In the experience of their laughter, I understood
something that was not explained to me when I was a little girl.
I understand now that people have conflicts, sometimes intense
conflicts, but when they love faithfully, they resolve those
conflicts and reap a harvest of blessings in laughter and joy.

Out of tradition I am thankful to God for this. Out of reality
I am thankful to life and time for this lesson. Emotional healing
and repair of brokenness does transpire. This experience fits into a tradition adopted by my Partner Tamara and me. In our relationship, we support each other in what we call do overs. This tradition is a practice of supporting or sponsoring some experience of pleasure that may have gone wrong in our childhood. If we had an experience in childhood that was painful or full of displeasure, our partner will do everything possible to recreate a pleasurable situation that parallels or replaces the unpleasant or missed experience. Sometimes the gift just happens and sometimes it is something that is arranged for us by or with the help of our loved ones.

Mom and Dad's laughter as a couple was a do over gift that I never expected but really needed. The laughter of my parents together in the home comforted me as their offspring, it gave me a feeling of safety in their presence and it also gave me a sense of hope for my success in a loving marriage. I am still averse to marriage for a number of emotional and fiscal reasons, but I am becoming less and less cynical as the days go by. Perhaps someday my heart will open completely to the idea of being married, but for now I would do well to just love deeply and show sincere human concern. I have expressed my love and devotion to the person who is closest to me and my expression and intention is sincere. Am I still evolving as a person? Oh yes! Will that have an effect on the manner in which I relate to my Partner and others? There is no doubt that it will. I am confident of this one thing: I will have my fair share of laughter with the one I love and she will have her fair share of laughter with me.
                                           

The Struggle

When I was the Director/Musician for Swarthmore College Gospel Choir, one of the songs we rehearsed and performed was called "The Struggle is Over". The song was a beautiful ballad feel with simple lyrics... Wherever you are whatever you've been going through, God says, the struggle is over for you. You've been in this thing long enough and the mountain side has been rough. The struggle is over for you." My life has entered a season of struggle which, while I would love for it to be over, is not yet. These past four years have, like every other time in life, had some joys as well as pains, but for some reason, I am feeling the stress of life more profoundly than I ever have. That is not to say I think I should be exempt from difficulty, it is simply to notice that for most of my life I have not had much experience with struggle. When I think about my family, I can certainly see that they are more accustomed to hardship than I have been. It would also be safe to say that most, if not all of the hardship that I have been through in my life has been self-invited or brought on by simply not following the path of least resistance as it has been laid out for me. I see no justification in complaining, although sometimes I do grumble. When I hurt, I cry out. I do not always "bear patiently the cross of grief or pain." My goal in life really is to live with grace and dignity. So, whether the struggle is over or not, I must live with grace and gratitude for every blessing great or small. To God be the Glory.

Health and the Gift of Life

     It may sound cliché to say, "I thank God for a reasonable portion of health and strength", but it is a statement worth examining. Only in those times that our health is compromised or our life is threatened do we come to really appreciate the reasonable portion of health and strength that most of us enjoy. When we consider the number of people in our communities who are oppressed with the daily plight of terminal conditions, we should really take the time to be grateful. One of the best ways for us to show our gratitude is to get out of isolation, enter into the community and live life to the fullest. There is a lot of living to be done and there are plenty of people to do it with. Once we get past the fear of the unfamiliar, we are in a good position to launch out into the universe of well being. People who interact and communicate with others are always happier and healthier than people who withdraw and refuse to go out into the world. You know, it is a little scary at first to put yourself out there and see what will happen when you try to make friends, but once you go ahead and let yourself move forward and be seen for who you are and what you have to offer, you will find that you are as loveable as the next person and the next person is just as loveable as you are. Making friends takes courage and time and it costs something, but it is always worth it to build healthy relationships. Building healthy relationships results in the building of a healthy life. Life is a gift worth living and a gift worth giving. Go for it!

A Good Day for Living

Today is a good day for living. This is the credo of every successful person. Even when you are not feeling in tip top shape, it is a wonderful thing to express this sentiment. To be determined that each day is a good day for living is to give yourself, at least a chance to improve and make a good go for it. You may not feel on top of the world, but just get up and try to see how things go for you. You will notice that even though you may struggle at first, you will be able to move along. You may at first feel sluggish or heavy laden, but after a while, you will begin to gain momentum and pick up speed. Do not allow yourself to worry or feel bad all day. Just, as my mother would say, think on the high and noble things. The Scriptures say, set your mind on whatsoever is honest, noble, just, if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things. That is what we have to do in order to get over our bad feelings. We have to attach our thoughts to ascending ideas. Bad thoughts are like a concrete block chained to the ankle of a swimmer... they will cause you to sink and drown if you do not detach yourself from them. So, here is what we have to do. We have to realize that our success depends on our ability to attach our mind to ascending thoughts. A preacher told me a long time ago, "Your attitude controls your altitude." I saw that saying printed on a sign on the wall of his ministry and have always held onto that idea. It is true that you go as high as you think and when you are connected to ideas that rise, so will you. Sometimes it may seem like people who are working toward success are being mean or something when they do not associate with those who appear unsuccessful. The fact of the matter is they are not being mean, they just have to keep their focus and continue working toward what they are trying to achieve in order to accomplish what they are working on. It is good to make sure that we keep healthy relationships when we are working toward success. We have to make sure that we take care of the people we love as well as ourselves. Healthy relationships are more valuable than any other commodity we can have. It is important to have meaningful, productive, lucrative work, but it is more important to have healthy relationships. Healthy relationships create a good atmosphere for what we gain from meaningful, productive, lucrative work. Healthy relationships also provide us with comfort and support to continue living. Working hard and working smart are good ethics to maintain, but managing healthy relationships can never be replaced or the importance thereof diminished.

God is Faithful; We Should Also be Faithful.

Remembering our Creator is essential not only in terms of being mindful of God, but also with respect to recreating God's likeness in our person. We must be patiently aware of ourselves and how we behave in our interactions with others. Being kind, being loving, being patient, being courteous and being demonstrative of our faith in God are all important. Sometimes we may be overwhelmed with obligations and responsibilities. This may lead us to feeling bogged down and almost as though we will not be able to endure any of the stressful situations that come upon us. It is never ever too late to decide to trust God and take him at his word. Just as God is faithful, we should also be faithful. Some people who do not believe in God may decide to try God based on their experience with those of us who demonstrate faithfulness. Faithfulness does not have to be huge, and yet it can make a huge difference. When we put ourselves in the position of extending trust in God or for God to others, our faithfulness will be seen, heard and felt. Everywhere we go we have an opportunity to show forth the faithfulness of God. Unbelievers are brought to believe in God when we show faithfulness and give God the glory. Not every testimony is spoken in churchese. Churchese is a fictional language you can hear spoken among people who go to church a lot and try to marginalize others through their speech and behavior. Many testimonies can touch and encourage hungry, weary hearts without a single religious word. Sometimes, a word does not even have to be spoken. Often times, a smile or a courteous gesture is all it takes to lift the spirit of a despondent person. But I will tell you one thing, though, Whether we speak in religious or non-religious terms, giving a testimony is an act of faithfulness. Every act of faithfulness is a reminder of our faithful God. You can say, "Amen", or you can say, "Oh, Man!"

One Day Can Change the Course of Your Life.

Small decisions can make a big difference. One day's events can change the entire course of a person's life. We would like to think that the little things are just that; little and insignificant. The truth is, however, something seemingly small can have a huge impact on a person and the course of his or her life. My personal belief is that there are no accidents. Everything happens in life as the result of carelessness or intention. What we call accidents are unexpected events that happen, like everything else in life, as the result of carelessness or intention. I am not so grandiose as to think this idea originates with me. I do, however, have enough pride in myself to say that it takes thoughtfulness and insight to arrive at such a conclusion.

We may want to think that people can be separated into two groups of careless and intentional types. In doing so, we would overlook the fact that we are all sometimes likely to fall into one of the two categories simultaneously. Perhaps it is safe to say that most people find themselves more frequently in one category or the other; no one is either careless or intentional 100% of the time.

A major difference between the careless and the intentional has to do with choices, decisions and actions, and the process whereby we arrive at them. For the careless person, choices, decisions and actions are impulsive, thoughtless and random at best. For the person who is intentional for the most part, choices, decisions and actions are thought out, tested and selected carefully. Some choices, decisions and actions call for spontenaity. Not every single thing in our lives demands us to painstakingly plow the soil of decision. We must, however, consider the consequenses of our choices, decisions and actions with regard to ourselves and others.

One event in one day has the potential to change the course of a person's life. Remember those accidents that I said I do not believe in? In reality, accidents do happen. So called accidents are unexpected events that happen as the result of carelessness or intention. An accident, no matter how unintentional, involves being thrown off the course of intention unexpectedly. To simplify, an accident can change your path. A moment in a day can cost years of inconvenience. By the same token, a spontaneous event can create a new path of opportunity that changes a person's life in a good way. Consider this day and remember to make the best choices, decisions and actions that are possible so that you will celebrate a wonderful change for the better.

The Decision to Live and Live Well

Dear Life,

     let me begin by saying thank you. I appreciate you supporting me over the past forty-six years. I have had some joys and pains, some celebrations and some regrets, but all in all, I have enjoyed the journey thus far. I thought I would have passed from here by the age of forty, but, six years after reaching that milestone, I am still going strong. Although I was a little puzzled and surprized, I am stilll nonetheless grateful. Since I am still living, I have made a decision to continue living and to live well. My confidence and appearance have improved since I have come to realize I am worthy of you. I am less intimidated by the haters and the people who are so full of themselves that they think they are more worthy of you than others are. Most days I still struggle a little in the confidence area, but I am sure of the fact that you and I are supposed to be together for a lot longer. My first set of life goals were callibrated to the age of forty.

     Now that I have surpassed that goal, I have, of necessity, to set a new marker for you to carry me to. I have decided that aiming for another sixty years is not greedy or excessive, but that it makes perfectly good sense. In the event that I live past 100 years, I already have my heart set on at least twenty more beyond that goal. You know, life, I have come to love you. I used to believe I had to look forward to giving you up. Now I am convinced that that idea is disrespectful to both you and to me. I want to embrace you more fully and during my next sixty to eighty years, I want to focus on simultaneously encouraging others to do the same. Afterall, you have a lot to offer. You are filled with a lot of challenges, but you also offer a lot of beauty and fulfillment. You are gracious in your ability to carry us through hard times and also to bring us around to realize how much we have to appreciate day after day.

     Now, maybe I will experience more pain in the second part of our relationship than I did in the first portion, but I believe it will be to my benefit. I have a tremendous amount of wonderful placid memories from part one to support me through part two. I gotta admit: Part one was a blast and may be hard to top, but I believe you have enough creativity to outlast me and everyone I love. So again Life, thank you.

     This time, thank you in advance for preparing me to live longer and stronger than I ever have before and thanks for all the beautiful companions and experiences that have filled part one and that will decorate and fill part two. I love you.

Sincerely,
Judy Witherspoon - Sunday 3/25/2012 4:15pm